Just goes to show you how important foreign box office is… I never in my life had any intention of seeing the third installment of the Xander Cage franchise, nor did I even know it was a franchise. It completely flopped in the US, I’m pretty sure it was only here for one week, but then made boatloads overseas. Just goes to show you how important foreign box office is… I never in my life had any intention of seeing the I’m willing to say the majority of you haven’t heard of this movie. It’s a magical time to be alive.I’m willing to say the majority of you haven’t heard of this movie. Somehow we’ve all been blessed with two Fast And Furious movies in 2017, people. Idiotic entertainment is rarely this good.
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Sure the action scenes aren’t quite as good as a FF joint and the dialogue and storytelling is somehow worse, but put this thing in front of any sincere or ironic stupid action movie lover and watch their eyes light up. Anyone who sincerely or ironically loves Fast 5 through Furious 7 should get the exact same brand of idiotic glee out of xXx 3: This Time It’s Dumber.
#Return xander cage imdb series
The initial goal of the series may have been to create a James Bond for the energy drink generation, but it’s officially turned into a James Bond for the irony generation. It feels exactly like a FF flick, just with more tattoos and all of the speeches about family replaced with speeches about the man. xXx: The Return Of Xander Cage is essentially Fast & Furious 7.5. How self-aware Vin Diesel is as a performer remains a mystery, but there’s no doubt that the guy is currently responsible for the biggest, dumbest, and funniest blockbusters coming out of Hollywood. However, it’s also absolutely hilarious, especially when it’s not trying to be funny.
It’s a collection of empty calories and even emptier ideas. This threequel was designed to go well with Mountain Dew. So he assembles a team (it must have been so hard for Diesel to avoid describing the team as “family”, but the man knows to leave all of his thoughts on that theme to the Fast & Furious & Family franchise where it belongs) and then blows up a bunch a stuff for the sake of the world. He’ll only play by his own rules, and he’ll only work with his equally badass and tattooed buddies. He won’t work by the rules that stuffy government agent Toni Colette demands though. However, he eventually agrees because he is a hero, our hero even. Cage initially has no interest in working for the government given that he hates ‘the man’ and everything that ‘the man’ represents (hence the tattoos and attitude/tattoos with attitude). However, he must get called out of retirement when someone starts dropping satellites on the globe as an act of terrorism, even killing Cage’s old boss Samuel L. Essentially Xander Cage faked his death between xXx movies, and was enjoying a quiet life hanging out in South America doing extreme things and having so much sex you wouldn’t possibly believe it. There is technically a plot to this movie, it’s just so convoluted that it’s nearly impossible to explain.
Clean on ‘roids Vin Diesel’s ego it’s pretty damn fun. However, for those who love irony and the multimillion dollar fever dreams of actor/producer/Mr. It should come as no surprise to hear that xXx: The Return of Xander Cage is a deeply stupid movie completely devoid of artistic merit. Diesel essentially willed it into existence after his cars-go-boom-boom series inexplicably became one of the most successful franchises in Hollywood history. Then when Diesel got tired of resurrecting Riddick between Fast & Furious movies he decided to give the world the gift of xXx 3 as writer/producer. The franchise was dead for 12 years, and the world was happy about it. Still, it made enough money off of people who needed something to watch with their Doritos to justify a sequel, but Diesel wanted too much money so Ice Cube replaced him and the flick bombed. The 2003 feature length Ax Body spray commercial attempted to turn Vin Diesel into the James Bond of the X-games era.